TalkingScot.com

OK ah'll go first

Wee chookie birdie, to lo lo
Laid an eggy on the windae sow
The windae sow began tae crack
Wee chookie birdie went - quack, quack, quack.

That's awe ah know

See yis at eh pairty

Annette

The Great Toast

Suas i, suas i;
Seas i, seas i;
A'nall i, a'nall i;
A'null i, a'null i;
Na h'uile la gu math diut, mo charaid.
Sguab as i!
Agus cha n'ol neach eile as a ghloine so gu brath!

To be drunk standing on a chair with one foot on the table. The glass is raised and lowered, brought in and out, with each line, drained on the words Sguab as i!, and smashed at the end.

Up with it, up with it;
Down with it, down with it;
Over to you, over to you;
Over to me, over to me;
May all your days be good, my friend.
Drink it up!
And let no one ever drink from this glass again!

Davie

In the beginning God, sitting on his throne, said to his mate
the Archangel Gabriel "Gabby, today I'm going to create Scotland.
I will make it a country of dark, beautiful mountains, purple glens
and rich green forests. I will give it clear, swift flowing rivers and
I will fill them with salmon. The land will be lush and fertile,
on which people shall grow barley to brew into an amber nectar
that will be much sought after the world over. Underneath the
land I shall lay rich seams of coal and in the waters round
it's shores there will be an abundance of fish and beneath the
seabed there will be vast deposits of oil and gas."

"Excuse me sire", said Gabby "but don't you think you are being
a bit too generous to these Scots?"

"Good heavens no" said God, "Wait until you see who I am giving
them as neighbours!"

Davie

Hogmanay widna be the same wi’oot Duncan Macrea’s Wee Cock Sparra.

A wee cock sparra sat on a tree,
A wee cock sparra sat on a tree,
A wee cock sparra sat on a tree
Chirpin awa as blithe as could be.
Alang came a boy wi'a bow and an arra,
Alang came a boy wi'a bow and an arra,
Alang came a boy wi'a bow and an arra
And he said: 'I'll get ye, ye wee cock sparra.'
The boy wi' the arra let fly at the sparra,
The boy wi' the arra let fly at the sparra,
The boy wi' the arra let fly at the sparra,
And he hit a man that was hurlin' a barra.
The man wi' the barra cam owre wi' the arra,
The man wi' the barra cam owre wi' the arra,
The man wi' the barra cam owre wi' the arra,
And said: 'Ye take me for a wee cock sparra?'
The man hit the boy, tho he wasne his farra,
The man hit the boy, tho he wasne his farra,
The man hit the boy, tho he wasne his farra
And the boy stood and glowered; he was hurt tae the marra.
And a' this time the wee cock sparra,
And a' this time the wee cock sparra,
And a' this time the wee cock sparra
Was chirpin awa on the shank o' the barra.

Am Ah missin sumhin ?

Whit's jolly about Aiberdeenshire ??........

Davie

Apairt fur aw ma faimlie cum frae Aiberdeinshire, ma auld grannie wis a Jolly.
Hir loons and quins a caw'd hir "Peggy Happy"

Is there for honest Poverty
That hings his head, an' a' that;
The coward slave-we pass him by,
We dare be poor for a' that!
For a' that, an' a' that.
Our toils obscure an' a' that,
The rank is but the guinea's stamp,
The Man's the gowd for a' that.

What though on hamely fare we dine,
Wear hoddin grey, an' a that;
Gie fools their silks, and knaves their wine;
A Man's a Man for a' that:
For a' that, and a' that,
Their tinsel show, an' a' that;
The honest man, tho' e'er sae poor,
Is king o' men for a' that.

Ye see yon birkie, ca'd a lord,
Wha struts, an' stares, an' a' that;
Tho' hundreds worship at his word,
He's but a coof for a' that:
For a' that, an' a' that,
His ribband, star, an' a' that:
The man o' independent mind
He looks an' laughs at a' that.

A prince can mak a belted knight,
A marquis, duke, an' a' that;
But an honest man's abon his might,
Gude faith, he maunna fa' that!
For a' that, an' a' that,
Their dignities an' a' that;
The pith o' sense, an' pride o' worth,
Are higher rank than a' that.

Then let us pray that come it may,
(As come it will for a' that,)
That Sense and Worth, o'er a' the earth,
Shall bear the gree, an' a' that.
For a' that, an' a' that,
It's coming yet for a' that,
That Man to Man, the world o'er,
Shall brothers be for a' that.

The Coming of The Wee Malkies ( by Stephen Mulrine)

Whit'll ye dae when the wee Malkies come,
if they dreep doon affy the wash-hoose dyke,
an' pit the hems oan the sterheid light,
an' play keepie-up oan the clean close wa,
an blooter yir windea in wi the baw'
missis, whit'll ye dae?.

Whit'll ye dae when the wee Malkies come,
if they chap yir door an choke the drain.
an caw the feet frae yir sapsy wean,
an tummle thur wulkies through yir sheets,
an tim thir ashes oot an the street,
missis, whit'll ye dae?.

Whit'll ye dae when the wee Malkies come,
if the chuck thur screwtaps doon the pan,
an stick the heid oan the sanit'ry man,
when ye hear thum come shuchlin doon yir loaby,
chantin, "Wee Malkies" The gemme's a bogey!
haw missis, whit'll ye dae?.

More of the like to be found at http://www.glesga.ukpals.com/GlescaPoem.htm

The Scotsmans Kilt

A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share
He staggered on until he could no longer keep his feet
Then stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Later on two young and lovely girls just happened by,
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
You see yon sleeping Scotsman who is young and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.

They crept up to the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Then lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing but what God had graced him with upon his birth

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
There was nothing there but what God gave upon his birth

They marveled for a moment then one said we'd best be gone
But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
They took a blue silk ribbon and they tied it in a bow
Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show

The Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward a tree
Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize"

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize"

Jesus loves me
Ah ken fine
He tought me tae smoke Woodbine
If he caught me smokin Players
He would throw me doon the stairs.

Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so.

Sung during end of term Church services
(in a quiet voice!)